Well, hang out the bunting and start up the horns. For Gormless Idiot has, for once, actually met a target she set herself and it is quite an achievement, though not for the reason you might think.
Avid readers of this blog (of which there are many) might recall that at the beginning of the week, I announced my intention to write an extra 30,000 words in my attempt at a novel and I wanted it done by the end of today. I say 'extra' - as I was starting with only a couple of thousand words anyway, I might as well have been starting at the beginning. Well, at about 7pm tonight, I nudged the total wordcount to about 32,800 which means I have more than met my target. And it's a great feeling.
I should point out that it's not really the feat itself that is the biggie for me. The thing that is making my heart sing is much more mundane. It is the fact that I promised myself and others I was going to do something and actually managed to see it through. For once. Okay, so I wasn't finding the cure for cancer or tapdancing along a tightrope strung between the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame, but for me, it's an achievement. Granted, when the book is actually completed, it's unlikely to see the light of day anyway, but that's not the point.
Because I am surely the Queen of Procrastination and my own biggest critic. Nothing brings on a black depression faster than the feeling that I've let myself down or failed to live up to others' expectations, regardless of whether those expectations are largely of my own creation. So to be able to say 'I did what I said I'd do' is a novel and satisfying sensation for me. I still have at least 60,000 words to go of course, but the feeling of having reached a milestone, however minor, is vital to any long distance push.
Though I must say that I didn't do it alone this time - it was the unerring support, encouragement and, yes, nagging, of certain people very close to my heart that pushed me to reach my goal when I'd had enough of the stupid story and just wanted to watch funny cat videos on the internet.
Being aware of this key part of my personality, I'm a bit of a div when it comes to these things, because I usually set myself unattainable targets and grossly underestimate how long it will take to achieve them, thus setting myself up for disaster. From now on I wil try to be more realistic and take more pleasure in the attainment of small but satisfying goals, rather than trying to empty the ocean with a thimble all the time.
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