For someone who has so far failed to be caught up in any sense of excitement, there are many drawbacks to the impending general election. Whether it's the endless hysterical diagrams leaping across the set of Channel 4 News or the stomach-churning footage of Gordon Brown trying to charm bemused shoppers in Morrisons, the election really is a lot of old bollocks.
I accept that it's important and all that, but it's just hard to scratch up much enthusiasm when you truly believe that the result will make little difference to your day to day life. For me, it's about as thrilling as the final of X-Factor. Will the squeaky voiced Mariah Carey-alike claim victory or the lad that looks and sounds like the love child of Robbie Williams and Keith Chegwin? It's of very little consequence, because both of them will trouble the charts for about a fortnight before sinking back into obscurity anyway and, let's face it, they're both pretty shit.
Obviously, Labour and the Tories will have a slightly greater longevity - at least five years, anyway -and will have rather more impact on your rate of income tax. But there is still an overall feeling of thudding boredom and 'god, we've been here before and it was rubbish then', much like visiting a Brewers Fayre restaurant.
But by far the worst thing about elections is the conversations you end up having, usually with your nearest and dearest. Is there anything more designed to wreak havoc among personal and professional relationships than finding you're on very different sides of the fence when it comes to your politics? When fluffy, mumsy Sally in credit control has been bringing in marshmallow cakes all year and knitting socks for the Armed Forces abroad, it can be something of a shock to discover she thought Hitler 'had a point'. Equally, finding out that Hugh in sales believes all women should be sterilised after their first child and any second-borns drowned in a pan, could make you think twice about sharing a room with him at the next company conference.
Most people will not have quite such surprising viewpoints of course, but chats that start out as good-humoured debates can quickly become rather heated and bad-tempered. This is not necessarily because you hold wildly differing opinions to your friend or family member, but because revealing our political views can expose the inner workings of our minds and consciences that others may not have seen before. Which leaves you open to scrutiny and criticism at the most basic level - your values, beliefs and attitudes to others. This is rather different to being critiqued on your work or ability to run a marathon, as it goes straight to the heart of you as a person.
The feeling that someone you care about and admire might not be impressed by your views on a particular issue, especially if you feel you have not expressed yourself very well, can be a pretty damning feeling. Of course, if you have the patience and sense to talk the matter through, people who are like-minded enough to be friends will often find that at the core level, they actually share the same opinion on most important issues, it might just be the choice of approach that differs. But a discussion about politics can leave you feeling frustrated, misunderstood and concerned that you may have done lasting damage to someone's opinion of you, which is even more upsetting if you feel they came away with the completely wrong impression.
Unfortunately, no party will ever present the perfect manifesto for any one voter and I usually find I am attracted to some elements of all the three main parties' values, while alienated by others. So most people end up stuck between a rock and a hard place come polling day. Elections do not allow you to choose this candidate's tolerant values with that candidate's no-nonsense approach, or to blend the Tory guy's plain speaking with the Labour gal's compassion. You have to come down on one side of the fence or the other, which can be a divisive experience. So that's another reason why I'm looking forward to the election being over and we can all go back to moaning about the government together.
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